It’s Worth the Effort
Town and Country Magazine says more calls are made on Mother’s Day than any other day of the year – approximately 122 million. But, of course, the most popular gift is a greeting card – around 152 million are sent yearly.
But what can you say on that phone call or in that card to fully recognize the loved one you’re celebrating?
“As a mom, I have gotten beautiful flowers, thoughtful gifts, and fun surprises that I never would have done for myself. However, if you dig through my memory box, the only items that are still in there are those handwritten notes from my kids saying something about me that they love.” – Katie Trotter, Senior Director of Content and Coaching | Chapman Foundation for Caring Communities
Motherhood looks different to different people – but for most, it involves a lot of moments of second-guessing, feeling unsure, hoping for the best, and loving deeply. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with flowers or gifts or that cute card you found that will make Mom laugh. But let’s not forget the power of noticing mothers. Noticing the words they say, the acts they do that make us feel so loved and cared for. At the Chapman Foundation for Caring Communities, we practice letting people know what we notice about them through recognition messages.
The components of a recognition message
Our foundational course, Our Community Listens, uses the acronym FBI to remember the recipe for a successful recognition message.
F – Feelings
B – Behavior
I – Impact
The order is unimportant, yet all three of the following ingredients need to be present:
The Primary Feeling(s)
Specific Behavior(s)
The Impact(s)
Setting expectations for where and how often to send recognition messages
Don’t let the formula scare you off! Delivering recognition gets easier with practice, and – the more you do it – the more you notice all the opportunities that arise. Let’s look at a few examples.
When your mom sent that text (ok, maybe she sent six texts, but you don’t need to focus on that), seeing if you made it home safely – “Thanks for checking in, Mom. It makes me feel loved knowing that you are thinking of me.”
When your mom made sure one of your favorite foods was on the menu – “I feel so special when you take the time to make one of my favorite foods. It makes the meal that much better!”
When your mom feels the need to give you her advice, followed by more advice – “Mom, I can tell how much you care about me and my life when you give me advice. Thank you for always wanting help.”
Recognizing the small moments cannot be overdone and can be powerful for the person getting the recognition message, for you, AND for the relationship. Talk about an upgrade from the typical card.
Remember, you know your mother best. It might be wise to bring flowers too.
Listen to podcast 075 – “You don’t appreciate me!” – How to make sure you never hear this – to be reminded of how to deliver personal recognition statements and make the impact you want this Mother’s Day.
Our Community Listens
Because listening is the most underrated yet fundamental skill for community impact, our first foundational course is Our Community Listens. A three-day course designed to help participants learn how to listen effectively, express themselves clearly, and build better relationships. These skills are essential for success in both personal and professional contexts.
In addition, the communication skills training offered by the Chapman Foundation for Caring Communities can help participants to:
– Improve their ability to listen attentively and understand others to foster better relationships at home and work
– Come to understand their unique communication profile
– Learn about people’s core behavioral tendencies
– Discover how to flex their communication for the comfort of others
– Appreciate the diverse contributions others bring to our lives and leadership
– Discover and experience how listening empowers people to help others, improve relationships, and increase the opportunity for personal and team achievement
– Learn the common misgivings about confrontation and power and will receive a practical method to positively and respectfully confront others to create change
– Express themselves more clearly and effectively
– Resolve conflicts peacefully and productively
– Lead more effectively and inspire others
– Improve Self Awareness
– Understand what motivates their team members
– Connect the principles and practices learned in this course to their life and leadership
– Reflect on how to reset their relational default modes and learn how to leverage the most value out of the Continuous Learning process after the classroom experience ends
Who Can Take Our Community Listens?
The Chapman Foundation for Caring Communities offers courses to anyone who wishes to improve their personal and professional life. We are dedicated to developing a culture of listening, service, and leadership to create Caring Workplaces and Caring Communities. Our organization seeks opportunities for collective impact, allowing compassion to permeate every aspect of the culture to take root and enabling all to flourish. Additionally, becoming an alumnus of Our Community Listens gives you yearly access to over a dozen online growth opportunities at no additional cost.
Join many other organizations that have discovered that listening is the most underrated yet fundamental skill for community impact and have chosen the Chapman Foundation for Caring Communities as their skills training provider.
If you now agree that listening is the most underrated yet fundamental skill for community impact, click here to enroll in Our Community Listens. Need help convincing your leader? Click here to download our Letter to Your Leader document. To learn more, click here.